at supper tonight i was retelling the tale of how eleven years ago i went into labour on a wednesday.   a wednesday just like today.  ivy stopped me to tell the story herself.  i loved watching her tell ezra how i was teaching yoga and my water broke.  i laughed and reminded them that i thought i had peed my pants.  they laughed and ivy joked about how funny it would have been if i had gone to the bathroom and had her there.  still laughing i told her that that was one of my fears.  she asked (slightly incredulously) if babies are ever born on the toilet.  i said yes.  sometimes.  and i quietly remembered my old neighbour mary.  she shared many birth stories with me.   mary was in her late seventies or early eighties.  we would sit and have tea.  i loved our time together.  and i loved her stories.  they were detailed.  and interesting.  and sometimes, like her baby born in the toilet story, scary.  i remember her telling me that the doctor had plans for the weekend and gave her some medication so as not to go into labour or some such thing until the monday.  and one thing led to another.  and she found herself in the bathroom at home popping the baby out into the toilet.  i remember asking if the baby actually fell into the toilet water.  i think i asked this many times on many different days.  she didn’t seem to mind.  and she would always answer yes.  if mary were still alive today i would call her up and ask her again.  did the baby really fall into the toilet?  i am easily fooled.  so maybe she pulled a fast one on me.  but either way i became terrified that i too would have my baby in the toilet.  eleven years ago i was worried that my baby would come too fast and end up in the toilet water.  that is super funny to me now because i  really didn’t need to worry about that!  no baby in the toilet for me!

tonight i curled up with ivy before her sleep and quietly remembered being pregnant.  she made me a mama!  and that it is very big gift.  i think that making someone a mama is the wildest thing you can do to someone.  i am certain my mother would agree!