i hurt my back.  i was putting a cooler into the back of a minivan.  it was hot hot and i was grumpy.  the girls were grumpy too.  i wanted to be cool already.  i wanted to be calm and cool.  and at the beach.  but i was rushing out of the heat.  arguing out the door.  i put the cooler into the back of the van, my back rounding with the strain.  it seized.  it gripped.  it yelled at me.  and i yelped.  i grrred:  “oh my back”.

i am fiercely independent.  that is my story.  i like to carry boxes and coolers and tables.  preferably by myself.  i can open the door with my foot.  i prefer not to ask for help.  i think i’ve mentioned that before!  i know i often carry too much.  i even use my mouth to carry extra.  if i could i would carry everything out of the car in one load.  i’m sure it is comical to watch.  my neighbours must get a regular giggle.  can you see me with my arms and shoulders laden with grocery bags and a box; there is also a cloth bag hanging from my teeth and i am trying to close the trunk of my little blue car?

i asked matthew to cut the grass with my push mower sunday morning.  i didn’t want to ask him; but i knew if i pushed it i would cause myself more pain.  like i did saturday picking up the trays of sprouts.  you see there is actually more clover then grass in my little yard.  clover flowers are beautiful; and fun to eat.  but the bees buzz in the clover grass.  we walk bare foot and sometimes we step on them.  stepping on bees is no fun.  so i asked matthew to cut the grass.  and sweetly he did.

i’m noticing how difficult it is for me to sit still.  to just be.  to undue.  i prefer to keep myself  ‘busy’.  i enjoy doing.  moving.  cleaning.  tidying.  weeding.  teaching.  selling.  juicing.  playing.  driving.  writing.  reading.  talking.  with only the occasional rest.  my back, however, was asking for more than occasional.  it also required a narrower range of motion.  and so i obliged…honestly… because there was no other choice. the kind of pain i experienced in the first few days was the sharp, shooting, and take your breath away kind.

after five days of much less doing, and some less doing, and a little less doing i am feeling much better.  i am left with only a subtle tenderness and much stiffness.   some loving stretching will assist me. i am also left with deep gratitude for the regular happiness of my body.

with a sore back i still made and ate raw cake!!!!!  in celebration of sitting down with almost nothing to do…here is a cake recipe.  i rarely use recipes anymore…so these recipes are pretty close to what i put in the blender…i just don’t always measure with cups…i use handfuls…but for your ease…i’m using the measuring cups measurements!!!

eat me cake (aka put that box down and eat cake)

crust

2 cups of brazil nuts

1/2 cups of pitted dates or figs

blend in vitamix (or high powered lender)

press into spring form pan

middle

5 cups of cashews

1/2 cup of coconut oil

1/2 cup of honey

2 cups of water

1 Tablespoon of vanilla powder

juice of one lemon

pinch of pink salt

blend in vitamix..use plunger…until smooth

poor over crust and freeze

topping    

3 Tablespoons of cacao powder

1 Tablespoon of raw honey

1 Tablespoon of coconut oil

water to blend;

mix in a bowl with a spoon and spread over frozen cake

top with berries  and enjoy

keep frozen until about 15 minutes before eating  (i have gotten some feedback recently about the time it takes to soften after taking it out of the freezer…so it seems to vary…but it may take as long as 30 minutes to cut easily)  it will be an experiment!!!!!  please let me know how long it takes YOUR cake.  and really how you like to eat it (cold, hard, soft….)

the raspberries in our backyard are delish.  and the wormies are friendly!  raspberries are amazing toppings.  and worms are great friends.