yesterday morning upon waking the girls and i cuddled and tickled and giggled in bed. there was no where to go fast. no green juice to make. no school. no nothing right away. this is rare. so we luxuriated in it. they each had a head on my shoulder. i turned to bite them or nuzzle them in turn. ivy wanted to be tickled. so i grabbed her thigh in just the right spot. we laughed and laughed. at some point they began to play with the extra softness of my belly. squishing my belly button. folding the skin (and mama chub) upon itself. laughing. poking. i did not mind. i am content with my squish. i reminded them that this is from where they came. they drew their fingers along my stretch marks. talked about their length. i think we all felt beautiful. we were totally connected in joy.
we ended the day almost the same way it began: with a rare moment of deep ecstasy. maybe the girls sprinkled something magic into the protein shake we made for supper. a little something something. or maybe there was just a little too much honey. whatever it was we laughed like drunken teenagers. and we couldn’t stop. i laugh regularly, but i hadn’t laughed with that depth or fullness in some time. maybe not since mushrooms! ezra was the wildest in her joy. she kept bringing us back with her. we followed her into crazed laughter. and it felt so good. so pure. and so sweet. nothing left but the sounds of our blissful shrieking. until that too came to an end.