if you came over today

if you came to over this morning you would find me in the kitchen.  although it is a dark damp day i have left the lights off.  i just wiped the counter.  and before that i took photographs of the crackers i made for the waldorf teachers.  i am avoiding harvesting the sprouts.  i am not sure why certain tasks are my least favorite.  but some are.  and sprout harvesting is one.

if you came over, maybe in a ups truck to deliver some algae or you walked to pick up juice you could listen to laura marling with me.  i would tell you that it is damp outside.  i would hug my chest and shiver with the door open.

you might comment on the sprouts.  or look in my fridge.  you would see a lot of green.  i might point out the big oak tree.  my favorite.  i might tell you that if we lay on the kitchen floor and looked out the window we could pretend we were in the forest.  you might give me a funny look.  and i would smile anyway.

this morning i was alone enjoying the soft light, and looking from inside at the mistiness.  i like the look of wet trees.  i enjoyed the quiet.

if you came over tonight you would find me tired.  two children sleeping.  one sick.  i just cleaned vomit from the floor.  i retched.  the lights are on now.  and i can hear the washing machine spinning.  if you came over i might make tea and tell you how i feel about putting two kids to bed alone night after night.  i might tell you that it’s harder when i’m tired.  and especially hard when one of us is sick.

it is like that isn’t it.  different shades of being.

simple pumpkin seed cracker recipe

soak 3 cups pumpkin seeds and 3 cups flax seeds  in a large bowl overnight                         stir in 1 -2 tablespoons of salt and 1 tablespoon of frontier spice pizza seasoning           spread on teflex sheets  dehydrate overnight                                                                             flip (remove teflex) and dehydrate until crunchy…another 6 hours or so.                             enjoy by themselves or with a yummy sunflower seed dip.

still smiling!


6 thoughts on “if you came over today

  1. Those cool (cold?) damp days are some of my favourite. They make me feel alive. And I know what you mean about the look of the wet trees. I love rainy forests. 🙂 Gonna try those crackers, too.

  2. Ah, thank you Chantalle! I loved visiting your house and seeing pictures makes me smile too as I imagine I’m there with you again. Mothering is so constant isn’t it? all the senses engaged, the energy rises from somewhere even in the most tired and sick times and gets us through, and love carries all. All love to you and your wonder-ful girls. Vanessa

    1. oh vanessa. i loved your visits! mothering is such a wild wild thing. and it is so wild for me to watch us all grow into ourselves. opening often to love. and yes. letting it carry us. even when it doesn’t seem possible. much beautiful songs your way lovely! xo

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